What We're Reading: Thanksgiving Week

We've been taking a bit of a history jaunt the past week, veering away from the very interesting-looking chapter on "The Bottom of the World" in our history spine to give homage to the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. I was fortunate to find several good books at the library:

The story of the first Thankgiving told from the prospective of Squanto, who is incredibly important, but usually sidelined. I think I always thought as a child that he somehow just magically knew how to speak English! I appreciating reading the context of what has going on with the Native American nations as the first English settlers were arriving.

This story chronicles s child's perspective of making the journey across the Atlantic on the Mayflower

After reading so many more accurate historical descriptions, this one stood out as a more romanticized picture of the pilgrims. It was interesting to contrast it with the other more grim representations. The artwork really is lovely though, and makes for a nice picture study. 

And to counterbalance the romanticized view, a depressing one! 

I will warn you at least, lots of people die bluntly in this book. But there are lots of engaging illustrations and the author certainly does not shy away from presenting the suffering that the pilgrims faced. My sensitive daughter looked a bit ill. But its true that its difficult to appreciate how relieved they were at the time of the first Thanksgiving without understand the difficulty they had already undergone.

I found this a really interesting modern tie in - what would a modern day pilgrim look like? Who today is looking for religious or political freedom? How might the beginnings of our own country change they way that we should respond to such people?

I'm thankful my library has done such a nice job curating their book selections. :)

Hopefully we will get to some art projects and such...

Learning to Mind Our Own Business, or, Getting Out of the Mommy Wars For Good

Recently Time magazine unleashed another wave of mommy war teeth gnashing with its article on childless living: The Childfree Life: When Having It All Means Not Having Children" by Lauren Sandler. Since I haven’t been reading Time lately -  I did not renew my subscription to Time after being so irritated by the bizarre article on Dr. Sears and Attachment Parenting they ran last year - I first saw mention of it via a friend’s Facebook post. I was particularly interested in the way the article linked in the post phrased is was something along the lines of, “Even women like us who don’t even have kids yet have now been pulled into the mommy wars! Women can't make anyone happy whatever they do!” Later I happened to catch a radio show with the article's author and was struck by the personal angle she was coming from - she had felt judged as a mother with only one child, and saw her childless friends also feeling harassed, so concluded that an article exploring the benefits of not having children would be a great thing.

But really what the article and the radio show came down to me is that women in general feel a tremendous pressure to conform to a cultural ideal of two children. Women who have no children or only one child feel that their motives are openly scrutinized and naturally become defensive about why they want to live “childfree,” all for reasons that most parents can agree that yes, are easier without children (more time for oneself, more money, more time for career, etc). What I desperately wanted to point out reading this was that actually women on the other “wrong” side of the cultural idea also get tremendous loads of scrutiny put on them for their larger families. Any women whose family portraits veer much to either side of this two kid norm experience uncomfortable - and inexplicable - pressure to conform. While it might be appropriate from a sociological standpoint to ask why our nation’s birth rate is falling, and what steps might need to be taken as a nation to support childbearing in general, these are not the tone of questions being asked. Most voices in the media seem perfectly gleeful to stir up debate over what decision is superior for various reasons, but the question I want to ask is,

“Why is any of this anyone’s business in the first place?”

Why something as intimate, nuanced, and personal as childbearing considered to be open season for public critique? Why do we feel  comfortable venturing questions of family size or timing with anyone but very close relations? And if a question is asked and answered, how can any of us really feel comfortable telling that woman what she should do? Of course we hope its that we want the best for her, but in reality, we won’t be the one juggling career and baby, or wondering guiltily if we are missing out by staying home with them, or any of the myriad considerations that having children involves. We are the village around that woman and possible children, certainly, but what kind of village are we? Instead of warm and supportive, we have become shrill and combative. Its no wonder that the “Mommy Wars” have become such an apt description of the tension women today feel over their family decisions. When someone is judged and berated, they usually respond with defensiveness and will naturally feel threatened by others who are not in their camp. Its become such a vicious cycle that some women feel completely alienated from friends and family who make different choices than them, and this is truly ridiculous.

Fair disclosure: I am a mother of four children, who while not being perfectly timed, I am thrilled nonetheless to have had just when they happened to be born. I know the bone tiredness, the emotional stress, the overwhelmed days, the financial juggling - I know them very well. My husband and I agreed on the decision that I would postpone my career to take care of our kids at home while they are young, and now we even homeschool them, pushing back my reentry into the paid economy even further. Both of these decisions I wholeheartedly believe are correct for us, but I also consider them deeply personal and not at all transferrable to the general public. The fact that this is what we have chosen to do does not mean that we think everyone else should do it. Its simply not our business. We will happily share our hopes for this lifestyle with others who ask (and I have been asked a lot - rolling in scientific and academic circles we are not at all the norm), but we try to do so without pretension that ours is universally superior, but only that after careful thought, it is preferable to us.

Unfortunately today it seems that just the act of making decisions for your family has become synonymous with choosing a side in hyped-up war. I have learned from being at the awkward answering end of casual  questions about “will we have more?” to being told by a stranger that I have too many kids and need to "get a new hobby," that a woman’s reproductive activity has been snatched out of from under the protection of culturally assumed privacy and thrust into the realm of vocal public scrutiny. After fielding these kinds of questions for years (a youngish mom with a gaggle of children in the grocery store always seems to draw attention, even when everyone is behaving themselves), I’ve become convinced that any leading questions to a woman about kids - when she’s having them, how many she wants to have - anything - are usually unwelcome and not really appropriate. We need to kindle a sense of deep respect for the privacy that the process of family planning - whether that family decides that they want no kids or fifteen - deserves.

The real problem - and the root of the mommy wars - is that  we as a culture have suddenly been presented with more options than ever before for what a woman’s life can look like and we just cannot accept that one woman’s ideal can be - will be -  different that another’s. But we are not automatons, and one size, one life, does not fit all. And this is not only okay, its wonderful.

I want to challenge every woman especially to  refuse  to buy into the tension and drama that swirls around us. We need to let go of the judgmental attitudes we've bristled under and nasty comments we have heard in response to our decisions and make a commitment  to support and encourage other women in our lives - especially those women that have made different decisions than we have about family or career. Give insight when asked, but no judgement. No snippy comments or veiled insults. Let’s be comfortable enough with our own decisions that we don’t feel the need to convince anyone else to make the same ones. Once we do this, the mommy wars will have no fuel to burn on, and all women - those with and without children - will be better off for it.

Tips for the Brand New Homeschooler

So you're planning to start home educating your child this fall? Welcome to the world of the homeschool parent! *high five* I don’t know what brought you here - maybe you’ve got a kindergartener who can read but can’t sit still and don’t want to subject her to a classroom of “be quiets” and “sit downs!” Or maybe you’re pulling out your 5th grader because he hates everything to do with learning and it breaks your heart. Maybe your child has learning requirements their school can’t - or won’t - accommodate. Maybe you’re just fed up with the toxic social situation your middle schooler is dealing with and feel her stress level (and yours) would reduce coming home to learn. In any case, you’ve taken the step into the unfamiliar and are wondering what comes next.

Get That Legal Stuff Taken Care of

You’ve probably already looked into this, but if your haven’t, you’ll want to soon. No one wants to be in that awkward situation of being afraid to go out with your kids during regular school hours for fear of random truancy reports! Look into your local homeschool regulations, and figure out what you need to comply. Local homeschool support groups or just a local homeschool friend can help you out enormously with this. If you don’t know anyone, go ahead and ask on a local homeschool Facebook page or Yahoo group. We’re generally a pretty friendly bunch that tries to help out newbies.

Do Your Research

Take a few weeks to explore the major approaches to home education. Websites abound, including forums, Facebook pages, curriculum vendors’ websites, Pinterest boards, and of course myriad blogs.  Google terms like Classical, Charlotte Mason, Unschooling, Unit Studies, Waldorf, and Montessori along with “homeschooling” and you’ll find plenty of information to get you started. It can be overwhelming, its true, but if you can get an overview of styles most likely one or two will appeal to you and strike a chord - “THIS is what I want my kids education to look like!” And then you can go deep into whatever chose philosophy with books and curriculum vendors’ pages, as well as more specialized websites.

Start Out with a Plan, But Be Flexible

I started out homeschooling with an everything-in-the-box curriculum from Sonlight. It was great - literature based, all planned out, lots of fun. Having everything planned out but still flexible was exactly what I needed as a homeschool newb - I wasn’t even sure what all this should look like.  Even though I went through a chunk of early childhood education classes in college, I wasn’t clear on how to schedule and manage our days. I look at Sonlight as my training wheels. I felt security knowing that it was a well planned out curriculum by people who knew what they were doing. Once I got a good sense of it, I began to branch out. In later years I took what I liked, what I didn’t like, and what I wanted to add, and began to put together my own program. But those first two years of using Sonlight really helped me to build confidence and find what worked for me and my kids. Another approach is to think in terms of subjects and put together a plan from there - find individual math, grammar, writing, spelling, handwriting, history, literature and science programs. I now use the book The Well Trained Mind heavily in my planning, and its really not much harder to plan than a box curriculum to plan. Whatever you use, consider your first year or so to be a learning period - it can take some time to find what works best.

Don’t Go Crazy Overboard

Maybe its just me, but when I go through homeschool resources I start to lose touch with reality a bit. Sure, I think - we can do Spanish....and Latin....and LEGO Robotics....and Rhetoric....and that amazing looking class on underwater pottery! Yes! YES! Then I remember the many times I have introduced an awesome new subject or activity only to have it fall with a thud because it was just one.more.thing.to.do. Start with your basics - Math, Language Arts, History/Social Studies, and Science are usually the core subjects. Art, Music, P.E., and various electives should be added in, but thoughtfully and realistically. Not every subject has to have a classroom-like lesson. Art for us usually consists of me introducing various art mediums (watercolor, pastels, clay, etc) and looking thoughtfully and discussing beautiful works of art. Fun, low-stress, and easy to fit into a laid back afternoon.

Start Looking For Your Tribe

Join local support groups (check for links of off state organizations, yahoo groups, facebook groups and meetup.com groups). Go to whatever meetings you can find - just to check it out. Check out local co-ops and social groups. As in anything, you won’t click with everyone. Some groups will rub you the wrong way, but hopefully you’ll find a few families that you and your kids click with. Maybe you'll find a group to play at the park with, a co-op, or even an experienced homeschooler that can field some questions and offer encouragement.

Reconsider Household Routines

Homeschooling really is a lifestyle. Your day will look pretty different from your neighbor whose kids leave at 8:30 am and come home at 3 pm. In some ways this is great - no rushing around in the morning packing lunches and signing permission slips, no nights of homework. But you will have your kids at home with you. All day. If you’re starting homeschooling from the beginning with your Kindergartener, or you already have young kids at home, this won’t be a big deal, but if you’re going from no kids (or just a few) at home to everyone suddenly, I can imagine it might be a shock to the  system. Be open to adjusting housekeeping expectations and planning when your will be out of the house alone (when your spouse is home? or hiring an afternoon babysitter?). Just knowing that these will require adjustment can be comforting during the transition.

Consider Deschooling

Whatever educational approach resonates with you, if you are pulling a child out of regular school you might want to consider a period nondirected, discovery based learning . This is commonly called “deschooling,” and the idea is that it allows your child to calibrate themselves to the rhythm of learning out of an institution by allowing them the time to explore their own interests, no strings attached. We do this for at least 2 months out of the year (we call it summer break, hah!), but it seems to be particularly cathartic for older students who have developed negative associations with learning.  You can read more about deschooling here.

Much luck in the coming school year! Sending your virtual hugs and cups of coffee (and maybe glasses of wine if that's more your style). :) It will be an exciting year!

5 (Possibly Unexpected) Things I Use Everyday to Homeschool

Its would come at no surprise that we use lots of living books and  lots of art supplies in our day to day home learning adventure. But here are a few a little more off the beaten path resources that I've come to rely upon...

1) Split page journals

 

These are like regular notebooks or composition books, but provide a large space for drawing.
I started using them years ago for my oldest daughter's copy work, since she loves drawing and could be compelled to do just about anything if drawing was also involved. Since then we have begun to use the format for nearly every subject - each kid has history, science, and copy work notebooks. I like the narrow ruled Bienfang note sketch books for science and history notebooks (more room to draw) and the Mead primary journals for copy work (more explicit handwriting guides). After reading our daily selections in history and science and hearing narrations, I have them record a response to the day's reading in their notebooks. Often this is just a picture with a sentence (or few, depending on their age). This solved the reporting  issue I had with my Charlotte Mason approach - I have provide work samples for subjects that the primary work comes from reading and narration, which is a bit tricky to show. Their notebooks provide an easy, low key way to show what we are doing, and gives my art loving kids a creative outlet built into their days.I also find that if we don't do official art that week, I still have plenty of artwork to show, and its nice to have everything contained in one space. I also love the somewhat Waldorf element it lends to their work - they are in a way creating their own textbooks.

2) Primary Handwriting Dry Erase Boards

Like this. I use it everyday for writing out passages that we do for copywork. The handwriting guide style helps me make sure I'm writing out in (nearly) perfect form, and is easy to reuse everyday. I do like to use wet erase instead of dry erase markers though, since with dry erase my careful printing can come off on little misplaced fingers.I use a second board to write out weekly spelling words to copy out daily, or various other passages we might be memorizing and copying.

3)  Singapore Math Videos from Khan Academy

My oldest is using (among other things) Singapore Math 3a right now, and I was thrilled to find that Khan Academy has a series of explanation videos for it. Although the videos don't exactly match up to the workbook sequence (or maybe they do in a way I haven't quite deciphered), they are proving useful, and are free! I hope they continue to add on for more of the series.

4) Play Away Books

These are mp3 player pre-loaded with books and extremely easy to use. Even my 4 year old can work them with a little help. Although I use this more for quiet time entertainment than school work, I have found a few that I could use as a lazy (or exhausted or vocal-resting) mom's helpers for our daily read aloud novels. A few I've gotten I've used for school work from the library have been The Princess and the Goblin, The Jungle Book, and The Hobbit. Even though I also frequently check out traditional books on cd, these just make things easier, as they only require a set of headphones for individual listening. They would be too expensive for me to buy individually, but if your library doesn't offer these, definitely suggest them to your librarians!

4) Home Science Adventures Kits

Microscope Explorations Unit

My husband (the physics professor) is extremely into hands-on science activities, to a point where I was overwhelmed with my lack of ability to fit in enough said hands on activities to meet his or my science-devouring children't expectations. My hands, or really my brain, is pretty exhausted after our everyday work, and beyond a weekly experiment (which is more than a lot of people do, right?!?!) I had a hard time providing enough. These kits have come to the rescue! They include really well written guiding worksheets to follow as well as everything you need to do the experiments  The best thing (aside from never having to hunt for a length of wire or rubber ball) is that they are (at least for my 6 and 8 year old) able to be done independently. That being the case, they are easy to use as a child supervised science exploration activity. I.e, it can be done with mom in a hammock, reading. Score! Of course you could also probably use it as your main science curriculum - there's lots to do and plenty of opportunity for living book supplementation.

5) A Trampoline

Seriously. Studies have shown that children sitting still for more than 10 minutes start to lose learning capacity. So an easy, centrally located activity-generator is a perfect solution. A mini-trampoline doesn't take up a ton of space, but gets out a ton of energy. We do of course have to have strict rules for its use: one kid at a time and no hanging on the bar! But we have yet to have anyone injured on it, which for my children is saying something. It amuses me that they treat it like a hamster wheel - hopping on through out the day, bouncing happily for a few minutes and going about their business. I think it helps put them more in control of managing their energy and stimulation levels, which I think is a great step toward independence.

What about you? Any kind of weird standards that you wouldn't want to homeschool without? I'd love to hear them!

Livng Books Books for St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day is a fun opportunity to take a little side jaunt from our normal history studies. This week, we've been reading about St. Patrick of Ireland, and I thought I'd share some of our favorite books to that end. Sometimes one is overwhelmed with silly, stereotypical representations of Patrick, but these are excellent sources for a mini-study using living books.

Patrick: Patron Saint of Ireland

by Tomie dePaola

I love this storybook version of St. Patrick's life. Lovely illustrations, concise prose, and a clear distinction made between the historical life of Patrick and the legends that have been associated with him make for a great introduction to Ireland's beloved patron saint.

I Heard Good News Today: Stories For Children

by Cornelia Lehn

St. Patrick's story is among many tales of missionaries in this compilation of stories. About a five minute read aloud, I like reading this story as well because it emphasizes a bit more about Patrick's Roman background and fleshes out the circumstances like his pirate capture vividly (although it might be a little much for very sensitive young children - please pre-read).

A Hymn on the Life, virtues and Miracles of St Patrick

Saint Fiech, Bishop of Sletty

This roughly 10 page poem describing Patrick's life  and and work is an original source of many of the stories we know hear of St. Patrick. The Irish, English, and Latin  versions are all included. Being available free on kindle is an added bonus!

Favorite Resources: Jim Weiss Recordings

Have you discovered Jim Weiss's wonderful recordings? I came to stumble upon them on the Peace Hill Press website, while purchasing resources for our history work. We were studying the ancient Greeks at the time, and the Greek Myths cd we were able to check out at our library became and instant favorite in our house. . We are blessed that our local (fabulous) library has an enormous collection of these recordings, which range from folk tales and mythology, to American history, to classical literature. Since then, hardly a week has gone by that one of these recordings has not been either playing on an mp3 player at rest time or giving everyone something fun and interesting to listen to together in the car.

So my girls and I had an enormous treat last night - we got to see Jim Weiss, storyteller extraordinaire  perform in the flesh at our local library!   Last night you would have thought we were going to see Justin Beiber - if my children knew who he was. One of those moments I'm thrilled to have them woefully out of step with culture, but I digress. When we walked in to sit down front and center (yes, we were first in line to get in), we were thrilled to get to chat with Mr. Weiss - my 6 year old daughter was absolutely star struck. I am still kicking myself for forgetting my camera! But we did buy some recordings that we were able to have signed, so my girls have a souvenir.  I hope it won't be the last time we see him perform in person! Ok, end of fangirl rant!

Many of these recording have fit wonderfully into our study of history using Story of the World: Volume 1 as a spine.  I have just found a new, really helpful curriculum guide that I now have bookmarked over at the Greathall Productions website. There are a few we missed!  We have especially loved the three Greek myth recordings (She & He is my favorite!) as well as  Tales From Cultures Far and Near. We are currently listening to Julius Caesar and the Story of Rome.

Some of our favorite literature recordings are Tales from the Jungle Book (I let my little ones listen to this while my oldest was reading the actual book independently - this way we could all discuss), Sherlock Holmes for Children (after which everyone begged me to get some of the original books for read aloud), and King  Arthur and his Knights. 

I hope this helps! Happy listening!

World's Okayest Mom

http://www.cafepress.com/familyoffish

I need one of these. It kind of takes the pressure off, right?